The Fabric..

I hate shopping! The only thing that excites me about going to a mall is ice cream, yes I might not sound my age….but what does ice cream have to do with age? I shop only when there is an SOS situation in my closet.

I was looking at a particular shirt which caught my attention, not only the price tag was “OMG” the material seemed different! I hunted for additional info. In the remaining tags and came across the term “polyactide”. I’m not gonna pull out my smart phone to google that, but out of genuine curiosity I asked the sales women if she could help me understand this. Her smile was pleasant and in simple words she said…its cotton enhanced with fibers to wick out sweat!! Sounds good, the shirt fits well, though pricey..it gives a premium feel! So its worth the money spent!

Morning Rush hour traffic kills any remote joy of driving! The only agenda is reach office on time!

I wasn’t really expecting to fish for comments on my new shirt, but Sophia took notice! That’s a nice shirt, is it silk! Before I could say, she examined the fabric and exclaimed…”oh cotton. Quite shiney!”

I had paid a good amount for it and wont just accept “oh cotton!”…I tried to explain what it was, but I get it its just “flashy cotton!”

Sipping my regular coffee on the way back home, I wondered to myself aren’t people just like clothes! I mean diff. people, varied characteristics…but at the core just a principal fabric. Over the years, with new ideas, lifestyle, social network, status and maturity they just infuse various textures to the existing self! Some adorn their identity to fit in a proclaimed “new” , some hold on to the basics, and some  just get lost in transition. How do you know who is who in the present world of deception? Its mostly the bling exterior to what lies inside; how do u know if a person is true… to you or to self! The respect one has for another..is it just limited to the flashy exterior or do we actually dig deep to know who the person is inside, the real deal! The friendship, the romance, the long conversations, the “I miss u’s” .. so many emotions…doesn’t it all start with the shirt as it looks from the outside. The cut, the shine, the stitch..the aesthetics…so mesmerizing…we just like it! The fabric…well that’s ok ! Will do, till it’s convenient! Wow…

It’s only when things fall apart we realize our choice! Some mend it, cause the shirt means something more than just an apparel, some hit the store for replacement! Some just forget , with new fashion trends.

 The core fabric..that’s  the real we , the way we choose, the way we make mistakes, the way we hit it right, and the way we live. It all says about the fabric we are made of! Rest are just add-on’s.

 My wardrobe too has a couple of wrong shirts, I smile now when I look at them! Laugh at my stupidity and the craze they had aroused at a time…but now they just lie there! Cause now I know I chose the wrong fabric! Its strange…but its true…we love the wrong ones more easily!

PS: Dedicated to my dearest bud, who knows my favorite shirt and the best fabric! Thank you!!

The battle of eX and whY's...

I don’t like coffee. To be honest, I hate it! My morning refresher is a hot cup of cocoa and milk. Breakfast is squared up by a sweet muffin or doughnut and thank you, but cereals are just munchies!  This morning however I ordered myself a cup of coffee!

Its not typical me…sitting alone in a coffee shop dressed in a party gown at 8 in the morning. Smudged make up, hair undone..i guess it just says a lot about the night just spent!

The long stare at my ring was interrupted by the stewardess saying,” enjoy your coffee!”

A drop of tear rolled down my cheeks as images blurred, of events that happened last night and memories kept secured in one forgotten corner of my heart !

Last night…

It was a fund raiser for our Organizations’ humanitarian objectives. Quite a cliché when u think about why a multibillion dollar Co. needs such funds, don’t they already have enough to donate for charity? 

I was the host/ presenter or whatever title suits my role in this event. From attending to the guests, addressing the attendants and everything else that needed to be taken care of, I was responsible.

Everything was clocking up to satisfactory levels, and it was time to address the house. I wasn’t nervous; but then I fumbled…it was a noticeable pause before I could gather myself and continue with the speech. I might have hurried up to conclude everything I had to say…quite unlike, but it happened!

Across the hall, in the corner I saw him; and that’s when my heart grew erratic. Adorned in an expensive  suit , his fingers  clutched against a glass of scotch…a debonair he appeared… yet, to me he seemed so familiar! It was hard not to gaze at him, but I managed to evade his eyes. I could feel his eyes on me, and that made the time on the podium so challenging. The façade was interrupted by the applause of the crowd. I took a deep breath.

What is the remote probability of him being present at this Hall, its impossible, but yet he was there. My mind started measuring the reasons for his presence only to be interrupted by the familiar voice! “Leave some wine for your guests, dear!”

 He was there standing right in front of me, and I couldn’t make him disappear! Inside of me, I battled a volley of a thousand emotions and questions, but I stood still. As calm as I could allow myself to be! I wanted to hold him, slap him, fight with him…take an account for all my tears and sleepless nights. But I said nothing! I held on to my defenses!

I was falling weak, the switch from wine to hard liquor had chinked my defenses. My limitless efforts to steer clear from him was futile. Everyone present knew him and was rather surprised at our association. His success or a failure didn’t quite put my grey cells to work, what did was this sudden travel back in time where memories were fonder and dearer!

 I cannot say, why the rest of the evening we stuck close or shared food by a common fork…or how, I ended up in his apartment or my escape early in the morning! I can’t give reasons… cause I don’t know…and may be cause I don’t want to!

As I sat on the chair arguing with myself over last night, the only memory I could gather were his words…”it feels like home!” and his tears when we kissed. The question still haunted me..."don't we deserve another chance?" 

PS: Take a chance...coffee is nice!