It’s not usual that I drink, more unusual is to toast with my employer’s at their apartment. But tonight was different, each one of us celebrated for reasons best to be described in words that we still were to figure out! May be to put an effort, for finding the perfect word..we might toast to “Life” but that would just be a just a part of the picture… to the turmoil we realized inside us!
I was the care taker of Sasha and Stefanya. Dusting and cleaning of their 3 room apartment didn’t take much time, however cooking was only an effort of transferring dishes in the refrigerator. These new generation kids can’t think beyond junk food! By the time the girls would hit back home, it was time for me to wrap up my work. So barely did we get chance to talk more than the usual.. this needs to be cleaned, where did u put my stuff…etc!
The girls not only differed in age but were on varied spheres of lifestyle. While Sasha enjoyed her late night parties and her frequent change of boyfriends, Stefy remained glued on to her fat books and papers till late night.
Well, its simple to understand…cause in the morning I’m the one who receives a grin from a stranger, in his boxers trying to hunt for his remaining clothes and; I’m the one who takes Stefy’s glasses off while she sleeps on her chair surrounded by a mountain of paper with her morning cup of coffee.
Stefanya would be around 30-31, a lawyer and separated from her husband! It’s very rarely that I found her waking up in her own bed. She loved her work or maybe she just wanted to drain out the last drop of energy to stop her mind loitering on unchartered territories. There were times when she would work from home; with a glass of scotch she would work for hours and then a careless drop would roll down her cheeks. Soon work would lose its prevalence and more alcohol would keep filling the empty glass. The empty bottle infused a rage that could not be controlled by just smashing it hard against the floor. Soon more things would start flying and ending on the floor or against the wall. Photos, whatever remained had been turned to ashes and the frames holding them had to be given away as scrap. Still, she managed to preserve a few. It was difficult to control her in this state, and sleep would follow only out of tiredness of crying. Her intoxicated heart has narrated stories time and again of pain, dreams, hopes and the culmination of all into emptiness. She can’t be described exactly as an alcoholic, but hard to say..for how long! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried at her loneliness and dependency towards alcohol, but I was just a care taker, I had to choose my words and concern cautiously! Life for her, was office..work..home..work..and scotch. Yes, there were men loathing for her, but she couldn’t care less. She ain’t the kind who would sleep around just for the heck of it! She had substance, but she was broken inside…hurt and battered, reeling under the heavy weight of memories which won’t just vanish in thin air! Life for her had become a monotony of events…but there was something she waited for, something she wanted..never to happen! Something she never said!
Sasha was about 23, just out of college..young, high spirited and everything that Stefy was’t. Her idea about life was limited to parties, men, fashion and gossips. She was a very pretty girl, and her list of boyfriends had surpassed the no. of shoes she bought! She was a hippie in a way and though her dad was rich enough to support her ways, he was too busy in meetings to hear his little girls dreams! She never grew sad over men, or where life’s gonna take her…the only concern was how she looked, if her couture was in-sync with present day trends and which parties were to be attended! She was nocturnal, rest in day time…and party all night long! From shopping sprees to midnight carnality…life was defined in parameters of glitz, glamour and sexual audacities! Did I think she was hollow inside? May be, but a young child with no mother and a father busy in board meetings, has a weird tendency of being rebellious. Where wrong is the only right, and the right is just a superficial belief of the corrupt society! She might have had a tough childhood, and may be its just a revenge to everything her young mind considered unfair!
I’m not their mother, and I shouldn’t be judging how these kids are. Neither it’s my job to rectify their ways..my job was to cook for them and clean their apartment, and I was paid well for it! But at 42, affection is just not stipulated to salary. I started caring more about these girls, cause as a mother I had failed to raise my child in the best manner. The streets had turned him into a peddler, and by the time he realized what life’s worth is…a shot in the head had silenced him forever! Gangs and their wars..how many lives have they taken, not even the police records can report! Ask a mother what it has taken, a lonely moist pair of eye’s will always narrate the same thing…a part of their existence! My husband is an alcoholic, and the money he can save after his binge and payment to strippers was smoked up in rolls of Marijuana. So it was my job to put the bread on what could still be called My Family! It’s not that I haven’t thought of running away from his thrashings and abuses, but somehow I had convinced myself that it was my fate! So every night I would return to hell, and the next morning come back to what can still be called “essence of life”. For me these girls had become family, and over the years they had confined in me facts, dreams, aspirations and failures which made them what they were. I had always treaded carefully not to cross the line of being overly concerned; cause at the back of my mind, I knew I was just their care taker!
Today was different, I couldn’t come to the girls in the usual hours of work! The police had taken him away, for he was convicted of murder which happened out of a brawl in the bar! I didn’t feel any emotion upsetting me, just the delay of legal work which made me spend the morning at the police station caused discomfort. No, I didn’t want to bail him out..I didn’t want Stefy to help me..I was happy, that God had finally rescued me from years of pain.
By the time I went to them, it was late evening. Earlier, someone would inquire about the delay…but today the girls sat on the couch, quite! It was an unusual sight, generally Stefy doesn’t return so soon and Sash would just wake up by now or be getting ready for her nightly errands! I hesitated to inquire, and wasn’t quite sure to reveal the truth of my delay, when Stefy asked me to sit beside them. I did what I was asked to; a few mins. Of quietness and unease…the girls broke down! They held me tight, and sobbed frantically! I was more confused than surprised .
Rounds of vodka and scotch dropped the inhibitions of the girls to share the occurrences that led to this breakdown.
Stefy had finally signed her divorce papers and the Court of Law had granted them the separation, while young Sash had mustered the courage to not abort her pregnancy.
The fate of events is unknown and seldom told, yet these individual occurrences had found the perfect coincidence to conglomerate in one day. They were diabolical to each one of us, in a way that would change our lives forever..maybe for better or for worse…we never know! We were dealing with bouts of contrasting emotions, we were happy…yet we were sad. We cried, yet managed to crack a lame joke. Tonight conversations knew no boundaries, everything under the sky was the reason we spoke..the reason we giggled, the reason that made us cry! The spirits had made the kids collapse in the couches, I still was awake toying with the last sip in my glass!
As I switched off the lights and cleared the place, the Neon sign of the nearby hoarding crept in through the curtains; it proudly read “Happy To Help!!”. I coaxed the girls and covered them with bed sheets. A thought crossed my mind! Is God really looking after us…does everything happen for a reason..is pain just a test to prove our inner strength…a series of questions followed. Memories of my life and incidents of Stef n Sash’s life filled my imagination…and before I knew, I was fast asleep!
Note: All characters and incidents in this story are imaginary or fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead; or any occurrence in the past, present or future tense is purely coincidental.
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